I swear every year, the day after Thanksgiving, West Texas flips a switch and suddenly every radio station from Midland to Monahans is blasting Christmas music like it’s some kind of federally mandated torture program.

I hop in the truck this morning, turn the dial… and BAM — “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas.”

Brother, it ain’t.

It’s 32 degrees, the sky looks like a hangover, and I’m wearing a coat I found in the back seat because I forgot winter existed.

And why do they play it 24/7?

Who asked for that?

Who voted for nonstop jingling like we’re trapped inside Santa’s anxiety attack?

Thank God for XM Radio — the only reason I haven’t driven straight into a cotton field just to escape the 800th version of “Jingle Bell Rock.” Streaming saved my sanity. Saved my marriage. Saved my dashboard from a fist-shaped hole.

Anyway… Merry damn Christmas, I guess. 🎄

— Pancho