Pancho’s Picks — Holiday Edition (for the rest of us)

I wasn’t even in the damn holiday spirit this year. Hard to feel jolly when it’s 70 degrees in West Texas, the sun’s cookin’ your neck like it’s early October, and the only thing “frosty” is the beer you crack open after work.

But the wife gave me that look, so I crawled up into the attic, fought off the dust bunnies and regret, and dragged down every plastic tub labeled “Christmas Shit—DO NOT THROW AWAY.”

Tangled lights, glitter-covered angels, a Santa whose beard looks like it’s been dipped in mesquite ash.

You know — the usual.

But I figured if I’m gonna be knee-deep in fake snow and real attitude, I might as well throw on the only Christmas carols that guys like me actually listen to.

So I hit play.

1. “Merry Christmas from the Family” — Robert Earl Keen

This one’s scripture. The gospel of dysfunctional holiday gatherings.

Truth is, Robert Earl Keen wrote the soundtrack to every lopsided Christmas I’ve ever survived — cheap beer in the cooler, mismatched spouses, someone’s weird in-law stirring Bloody Marys like they’re casting a spell.

It’s home.

Chaotic, loud, a little embarrassing… but still home.

2. “Christmas in Prison” — John Prine

Leave it to Prine to make a love song out of cold steel and bad decisions.

And yeah… this one hits a little close.

I’ve spent a holiday or two behind bars, eating mystery meat while pretending it’s ham and trying not to think about the people waiting on the outside.

This song reminds me how damn grateful I am not to be there anymore — how lucky I am to be here dragging Christmas boxes for the woman who kept me alive long enough to figure life out.

3. “Santa Got Busted by the Border Patrol” — Kevin Fowler

I swear to God this is a true story.

Feels like something that’d happen on 285 after a night in Pecos — Santa, red suit wrinkled, sleigh running hot, trying to explain himself to a Border Patrol agent who’s had a long week. Hell, Fowler barely exaggerates it.

If they tried to bust Willie a time or three, they sure as hell aren’t giving Santa a pass.

This one’s pure Texas ridiculousness, and that’s why it belongs on my list.

4. “Grateful for Christmas” — Hayes Carll

Hayes always sneaks the truth in through the side door.

This one reminds me of home — not the picture-perfect Hallmark bullshit, but real home:

the family that’s getting older, the kids getting busy, the traditions shifting, the things you try to hold onto even as they slide through your fingers.

They say that if you’ve been married more than once you can say “several.” I have been married “several” times.

It’s funny and sad and honest… kind of like every damn December.

And somewhere between the lights, the boxes, and the songs… I caught myself feeling something I didn’t expect:

a little bit of Christmas spirit creeping in, dusty boots and all. Maybe it was the music.

Maybe it was the wife smiling because I did the thing I didn’t want to do.

Maybe it was gratitude — the kind that shows up whether you invited it or not.

Either way…

I reckon Christmas found me again this year.

— Pancho’s PicksRiding for the real ones, dodging the rhinestone pretenders